


Pain always brings us closer

by InnerEvil



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Car Accidents, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Major Character Injury, Medical Trauma, Mental Health Issues, Obsessive Behavior, Overprotective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:29:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22078501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InnerEvil/pseuds/InnerEvil
Summary: This story was updated in August 2020.Rebecca's pregnancy reveal doesn't go as she hope it would.“Robert we spoke about this your condition is unfortunately chronic and you will have good days and bad days like all conditions. We also know that stress would seriously affect it as you know your nerves are connected…”
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Comments: 13
Kudos: 69





	Pain always brings us closer

**Author's Note:**

> Updated August 2020: Hey guys, I was reading some Robron and came across my story which after re-reading I realized had a lot of grammar errors so I decided to fix it. Once I started to proofread it, it just kind ran away from me and took a life of its own, I added more details as well.
> 
> Old Note: Hello, I love Robron and like everyone was disappointed by Robert's exit (how did Ross get a better Exit than Robert) Anyways full disclaimer I have no medical knowledge and all this was made up -like mpreg- not sure if its even possible.

Aaron was having a relatively good day, it was one of the days when he could almost ignore the fact that his husband cheated on him in their house and actually forgive him instead of pretending to, like he did most days. He loves Robert and there was no doubt that the smug prat was the love of his life. To Aaron there was never any question that he would forgive Robert eventually, in fact he knew that he was going to forgive Robert the moment the man confessed instead of hiding it or lying like he usually did. The truth was that he wasn’t surprised because he knew his husband, it wasn’t that the blond man was a cheater -although some might say he was- but more that Robert turned explosive when he was hurt or felt backed into a corner. While Aaron tended to turn his pain internally when cornered, Robert turned his pain externally. They understood each other, they accepted each other but most of all they forgave each other.

To most people their relationship might not seem the healthiest and maybe most of the time it wasn’t but it worked for them. Like his husband said when he proposed _“I want messed up with you.”_ They both had issues and while some times those issues exploded in their faces, more often than not it worked for them. They knew each other’s triggers but they also knew how to best deal with them. Aaron was not willing to give up on them after everything they have been through to be together, he was not letting go despite the pain he felt when he thought of what happened that night but he also though about the part that he had to play in it.

No one made Robert do what he did, that was his decision but Aaron could admit that he had some part in it because he didn’t notice that Robert was so close to the edge instead of pulling him back he gave him the final push. They needed to start taking turns on when to have a crisis so that they were not having one at the same time. Despite everything Robert was it for him and he loved him. Also a part of him believed that in some way he deserved all the suffering for the suffering he had cause. He has felt completely out of control the last few days but with Robert beside him he was able to ignore that part of his head that wanted him to self-destruct, that was the importance of Robert in his life the man kept him away from the edge.

He left his husband sleeping in bed still worn out from their previous night, the thought only made Aaron smirk. He loved when Robert willing gave over control to him in bed, not only was it hot but it also reminded Aaron of the immense trust that the otherwise cautious and closed off man constantly places on him. It was a huge honor; a darker part of him found it a huge turn on. To him Robert had a larger than life personality with confidence that would make anyone jealous yet in moments like last night he let Aaron take complete control.

Although he wonders if he needed to be gentler as the morning after Robert always took longer to recuperate although he would never admit it, _“it’s the perfect excuse to sleep in_. _”_ Aaron’s own body had the delicious ache of good sex with the man he loves. His normally grumpy disposition was the only thing that stopped him from whistling with joy as he headed to the scrapyard. Of course his happy peace could not have lasted with a best friend like Adam, Aaron should have known that.

“What’s got you in such a good mood mate?”

“Nothing just a good day”

It was naïve of him to think that Adam would let it go, the man was like a mix between his mum’s meddling and Robert’s persistence. Through their years of friendship Adam had learned to read Aaron from the obvious things he showed on his face to the things he hid behind his famous scowl, so he knew that Aaron wasn’t someone to be in a good mood ‘just because’ if Aaron was in a good mood there was a big reason for it. With everything that had happened so far Adam was pleasantly surprised by the change but then it suddenly hit him ‘there is only one thing that would put Aaron in a smiling mood.’ He smirked as his figured out why his best friend was so relaxed and happy.

“There is only one thing I can think of that would put you in such a mood…you got laid!”

“…”

Aaron’s lack of response was the confirmation that Adam needed and it made him laugh at his friend’s expense, Aaron just rolled his at the man’s childish behavior. Adam might be laughing and teasing his friend but he was genially happy to see his mate back to being sickeningly and happily in love with his prat of a husband. If there was anyone that deserved to be happy it was his best friend, despite his thoughts on Robert he knew that the man actually made Aaron happy so he was happy that their relationship worked out.

* * *

While Aaron was being teased, back at the Mill Robert was still in bed trying to recover the mobility in his legs. He had made sure that Aaron had not notice his issue since the man still didn’t know about it but if his legs didn’t begin to work soon he would have to call his doctor for help and it would definitely draw attention to him, it would reveal his biggest weakest to the world. He hated that his condition was a weakness that he will never get rid of; he hated feeling useless when it got so bad that he couldn’t walk.

The problem wasn’t just feeling useless but when his legs got really bad it was almost like he was back to that night, alone and stuck between the car crying for help but no one would listen. In his nightmares he died there slowly and painfully by himself, no one even missed him or notice he was gone. Robert pushed those thoughts away, he couldn’t get lost in that dark place, Aaron would most likely be back for lunch or earlier if he doesn’t see Robert at the scrapyard. “Damn it! Come on work, you bloody…” He began to hit his legs not feeling a thing “work! Work! WORK!” He felt nothing at all and it frustrated him “please...” he couldn’t hold back the sobs that escape him in frustration.

_“Sir what’s your name?”_

_“Robert hold on, we are going to cut you out.”_

_“I don’t want…let me…”_

_“What is it..?”_

_“Die…let me go…”_

_“The car was putting pressure on his wounds, once the car is move…”_

_“You have to fight Robert…”_

_“He’s lost too much blood…He’s coding!”_

Waking up in bright room filled with muffled sounds and strange faces made Robert think that he was in purgatory awaiting judgement for all he had done, where a higher power would decide if he would be send to heaven or hell. He later found out that he was in and out of consciousness not fully aware of the world around him for which he was happy since those days were pain filled. ‘Thank god for painkillers’ despite not feeling the pain Robert remembered waking up to the metal brace in his legs and wanting to die. After an hour of lying in bed lost in thought and waiting for feeling to return to his legs, Robert decided to go with plan B.

He pulled himself up and rolled off the bed, using his arms to drag his body towards the closet like a worm on a rainy day. It was humiliating and he was glad that no one was there to see him at his lowest moment; he remembered the pity he saw in the eyes of the nurse and doctors whenever they looked at his legs _“to be faced with such hardship at such a young age…”_ With a lot of effort he opened the closet and pushed everything in the bottom shelf to the floor, in the back he felt the small wooden trunk that carried all his secrets and pulled it out. Opening the trunk there were lots of papers and official documents that he mostly ignored instead he moved them around until he saw the small leather carrier that held his lifeline.

Robert listened carefully to make sure that he was still alone in the house before opening the bag to reveal a small glass bottle with a clear liquid and two long skinny syringes. _“This is only a short term solution if your nerves do not respond you have to go to the hospital immediately…”_ Robert looked at the medicine with distaste as he filled the syringes with expert precision before injecting one in each of his tights, not worrying about being gentle since he couldn’t feel anything.

He threw his head back and closed his eyes taking a deep breath; he waited for the medicine to take effect. Tears rolled down his cheeks, he had been doing so well managing without the need for the medicine. After spending months in physical therapy, Robert spend the same amount of time learning how to hide his condition and act normal. He became so good that no one noticed that he even had a problem. All the people he slept with believed whatever lie he would tell them about the many scars; it was a good thing that he was already a great liar before the accident. He couldn’t help but think that he was getting worse instead of better as much as he had been avoiding it he knew he would need to go back to see his doctor and start physical therapy once more which he was not sure how he would be able hide that from an already suspicious Aaron.

Luckily he could postpone the trip to the doctor as feeling slowly returned to his legs and right on time, he heard the door open downstairs “Rob?” The blond rushed to place everything back in the trunk and putting it back on the shelf, wiping his tears just as Aaron walked in. “Hey, you still here? Is everything okay?” Robert could feel his legs but he wasn’t sure that he could get up yet, he had no control over them “Yeah I was going to get dress when I got a cramp in my leg.” It wasn’t necessarily a lie “Need help old man.” Aaron smirked at his husband watching the mess by the man’s side which to him told him that there was something more serious going on since Robert was too OCD to leave a mess for too long “oh cheers.” Robert exclaimed sarcastically before pulling his husband down on the floor and snogging him silly to make him forget his questions for the time being.

* * *

The next few days were uneventful and Robert was happy for that, things seemed to have gone back to normal between Aaron and him. His legs had been cooperating for the last few days but Robert still called his doctor _“Robert we spoke about this your condition is unfortunately chronic and you will have good days and bad days like all permanent conditions. We also know that stress would seriously affect it as you know your nerves are connected…”_ His doctor had explained to him once more something that he had already memorized from hearing so much. The doctor had made him an appointment to come in for some test and scans to make sure that his condition had not gotten worse. That fact that it was a possibility made Robert feel like a man whose days were numbered.

If they confirmed that things got worse he doesn’t know if he could continue to hide it from Aaron, he might have to tell him and he doesn’t really want to. He knew that Aaron though that he was this strong and well-adjusted prat but once he found out about the condition his husband would only look at him with pity; Robert would not be able to handle Aaron’s pity. Aaron knew that something was wrong with Robert, something serious. His husband seemed worried about something and he kept looking at him with a vulnerability in his eyes that in turned worried Aaron even more because it was so uncommon from the otherwise strong blond. At first he thought it was the whole thing with Rebecca but with her gone he couldn’t help but think it was something much more serious.

The two were having a lunch date at the pub something that Robert suggested _“with everything that’s happened around us we must always make time for each other even if it is just a date night at the Woolie every week…”_ Aaron had teased his husband for being so sappy but actually loved the idea of having a guaranteed night with Robert every week. Vic and Adam had joined them when Chrissie and Lachlan walked in both smirking looking around until their eyes landed on Robert and Aaron. “This seems quite cozy” Aaron rolled his eyes while Robert’s eyes harden knowing from the gleam in Chrissie’s eyes that she was planning something and bad things will happen.

The woman has been enjoying the situation of him cheating on Aaron a little too much, it was only the Dingle clan led by Chas that kept her from rubbing it in “What do you want?” Robert had no patience for the Whites’ games anymore; he made sure that his tone made it clear that they were not welcome. “You really are a roach; you seem to survive everything…” Chrissie spit out with disgust in her eyes before turning to Aaron “…I expected you would be smarter but then again you fell for his game and lies once so a second time doesn’t really surprise me. You really thought he loved you, that he would actually be faithful when the sole reason you two got together was because of an affair?” There was a smug bitterness in her voice as Aaron made sure that his expression remained blank while inside his insecurities were churning and trying to come back.

Robert felt his blood boil but he tried to remain calm as to not aggravate his legs because apparently his emotions could affect his condition. It was a test in emotional control and Robert realized that he had very poor control over them if any. “Don’t you have a better thing to do than be a bitter hateful cow?” Robert asked with a smug cool smirk as if nothing could shake him, Lachlan stepped forward the anger clear in his face but Chrissie stopped him “leave him, he’s not worth it.” They both stepped back “Chrissie come on can we just get on.” Vic tried to keep the peace always the optimist; she also liked seeing her brother happy and she didn’t want that to change. Chrissie simply smiled, as if she knew something that they didn’t and she relished the though, before walking to a table.

The four continued their lunch but there was tension in the air and Aaron was once again closed off and stiff, he kept moving away from Robert’s touch. Robert decided to give him some space so he got up to go to the bathroom also hoping that stretching his legs could levitate the cramps he felt coming. Just as he disappear into the bog the doors to the pub opened announcing the entrance of someone that made everyone gasp and whisper. Aaron wasn’t one for gossip so he didn’t pay any attention until his friends gasp as well and looked at him like he was a wild animal about to be attack or a nut about to lose it.

Adam grabbed his arm just as he was about to turn “maybe you shouldn’t…” but that only made him curious, he pulled his arm away and turned; once he did Aaron wished that he hasn’t because standing by the entrance was none other than Rebecca White. It seemed that the youngest White sister had returned from her self-appointed exile but it wasn’t at her that people were gasping at but more the big obvious pregnant belly she caressed gently.

His eyes widen as he connected the dots while Rebecca smiled sweetly as if she was sharing some marvelous news with family and friends instead of ruining Aaron’s life. “It can’t be…?” Vic’s voice was no higher than a whispered; she focused solely on the stomach that was carrying her niece or nephew. “Oh it is! how does it feel to know you will be a _step-father_ Aaron?” The step-father was spit out like an insult as Chrissie proved in that moment from who Lachlan inherited his sick twisted joy in other people’s pain.

Rebecca reached them and tried but failed to look sorry for what she was doing despite the fact that she could have chosen not to do it at all. “I’m so sorry Aaron, I couldn’t…” Aaron was frozen his eyes still on the big stomach, his attention was only drawn by Robert’s return “Rebecca what are you doing back? I thought you had left town for good?” Robert asked annoyed but not really caring before noticing her bulging stomach, everyone held their breath waiting for the man’s response –more like waiting for the fireworks since Robert was known for delivering of the drama they all craved- but they were all disappointed when it was not what they expected.

“Congratulations, I guess.”

He said plainly almost as a force of habit before turning his back to the shock woman and sitting down as if nothing happened. Surprisingly Victoria was the one that spoke up first eyes clouded and singularly focused “Robert you can’t be serious, that’s your child and you have nothing to say.” The woman exclaimed as Adam tried to stop her looking at his silent best friend but all Victoria could see was a baby.

Robert seemed confuse “What are you talking about? I don’t have any children.” Aaron was silent through it all the dark emotions threatening to overwhelm him. Rebecca stepped forward not happy by the reaction she got, no one saw as she briefly looked at Aaron with a self-satisfying smirk on her face because she knew and he knew that she had won “Robert actually this child is yours, I left because I didn’t want you to make me give them up like before…”

Robert turned and realize that everyone was staring at him and that they all fell completely for her story, he ignored the comment about him making her get an abortion _“Look Bex I love your sister and I’m not leaving her for anything. If you want to have that kid then that is up to you but it’s not my problem”_ because he knows that was not true, he didn’t make her get an abortion it was her own choice. “Wait, you actually think that child is mine?” He was confused _“I can’t do children…”_ since he was sure he explained his situation clearly the first time. The Dingles present were all glaring at him and for a moment he was happy that Chas or Liv weren’t present. Robert looked at Aaron and noticed the dark look in his eyes, he realized that Aaron was the only opinion he cared about so he grabbed his husband hand not letting him pull away and ignored everyone else.

“Of course it is!”

“Figures he would be a deadbeat.”

“Robert! What is wrong with you?”

“Can’t talk your way out of this one Sugden”

Robert grabbed Aaron’s face and turned it so that they were facing at each other, he waited until Aaron was staring –more like glaring- at him before he spoke “look at me, Aaron you are the only person that can tell when I lie and the only person whose opinion matters to me, look at me…that child is not and can never be mine.” Aaron looked into sea green eyes and he saw something in them that made him believe the man, despite what others may think Robert could never lie to him.

Those eyes were so expressive to him that Aaron could always see when he was lying. Robert leaned forward and kissed his husband a sweet display that angered a pregnant Rebecca. “Are you calling me a liar? I would never lie about something like this you admitted that we slept together this is the results, what did you expect would happen?” Robert shut her up with a glare because he could see how much it was all affecting Aaron “and I’m telling you that child is not mine.” His words just made everyone speak up to attack the village’s resident villain while Rebecca did her signature ‘I’m a poor innocent girl who was taken advantage of and use by the evil Robert Sugden.’

“Robert I don’t recognize you.”

“It’s typical for a man to make a mistake and want to sweep it under the table.”

Rebecca seemed like she was about to cry while Robert was slowly stressing, the cramps in his legs were back in full force. Aaron could see that his husband was close to hyperventilating and it worried him because Robert was a rock nothing shook him least of all not in public. “Robert?” Aaron whispered touching his husband’s shoulder but Robert was lost not only in his injury but all the memories of that night were slowly closing in on him. He knew what was coming ‘I need to get out of here before it gets humiliating.’

Robert took a deep breath trying to calm himself down before he slowly stood up and glared down at Rebecca. Aaron stood up with him and held his arm to stop him from doing something that would get him in trouble “I don’t know what you are trying to do or why. I always thought you were the sane one in that family but I was wrong you need to let go of this obsession that you have with me because whether I’m with Aaron or not, you and I are never going to happen. Let it go! You’re beginning to look ridiculous and pathetic at least your sister had some dignity.”

He brushed away from the woman who was left shocked and heartbroken by the harsh words, at the door he stopped once more turning back “oh and that child could never be mine because unfortunately for you and in this case fortunately for me I’m sterile, which means –in case your deluded little brain doesn’t know what it is- no child could ever be mine.” After dropping that bomb Robert walked away with a slight limp and his legs trembling slightly, he wasn’t sure if he would make it to the Mill.

“Come on please, just a few feet, please make it…”

* * *

The Woolpack was filled with a shock silence, some turned back to their business taking Robert’s departure as an end to the issue while others turned to Chrissie as if she could confirm the blonde’s exclamation but the woman was silent with a pensive look in her eyes. Aaron was more worry about his husband than the statement so he did not hesitate to rush out after him ignoring everyone else. The last thing he saw was Victoria walking over to Rebecca and trying to comfort her as if she believed the woman over her own brother. Once he was outside he looked around trying to find his husband but figured that he was already at the Mill. Aaron rushed to the Mill, something told him that his husband needed him.

As he walked to their home he was proven right when he saw his husband on the ground of the drive way in front of the door. The man was faced down and for a brief moment Aaron was sure that he was unconscious. “Robert!” He ran over in a panic but was happy to see that his husband was wake, he had his face bury in the gravel almost ashamed of his position yet not bothering to get up “what happened!?” Aaron turned his husband over to see humiliation and frustration clear in those moist sea green eyes. “I’m fine, just…” Robert closed his eyes and took a couple of deep breaths before whispering so low that Aaron could barely hear him “…could you…help me in… Please…” Aaron pulled him up realizing that as he pulled him Robert did not move his legs but he just figured they were asleep.

Aaron carried him in and laid him on the sofa then went to get him some water “do you need any pain meds?” Aaron became more worry when he saw Robert was not moving his eyes closed. Taking a deep breath Robert realized that he couldn’t hide anymore at least not from Aaron, although even if he wanted to his legs didn’t give him much of a choice. ‘Another thing that was taken from me’ he took another deep breath “there… there is a trunk in the closet upstairs, bottom shelf all the way in the back…can you bring that for me?” Aaron wanted to ask questions but he decided to follow the request and wait knowing he was going to get answers sooner or later ‘I’m not letting this one go and he knows it.’ He walked upstairs not really expecting to find anything but he saw the trunk hidden right where Robert said it was; he had never seen it before and a part of him wanted to open it and see what was so important for Robert to hide it so well but he decided to wait for Robert to feel better and explain.

When he came down the blond was sitting up on the sofa, Robert looked like he was regretting all his life choices which in Aaron’s opinion was never a good thing. For a few minutes the trunk sat on the table in front of them as they stared at silently, one in curiosity while the other one in dread. Both were aware that what was in that trunk would change their life and relationship forever. “When my father kicked me out, I had to leave the village last minute with no time to pack or prepare. I was all alone just wondering around from alley to alley, park to park and station to station. It was hard but I was dead set on surviving even if by sheer stubbornness just to proof to my father that I was more than he though, that I could be more…” Aaron held his hand in silent support knowing how hard it was for his husband to talk about his father or that time in his life.

Robert never talked about his time away from the village not even to him and Aaron held his breath listening patiently and anxiously “A few years in I was doing okay, I found a job and a place to sleep but I wasn’t doing as well as I wanted, you know me I love the good life…” Aaron rolled his eyes with a smile on his face the affection for his husband coming through clear as day. Robert leaned forward taking a deep breath, face turning serious again “what I’m about to tell you is something that no one knows and I hope it doesn’t change anything about the way you see me because I…”

Robert opened the trunk and Aaron saw a bunch of documents and a leather bag which confused him “I was walking home from work one night, it was one of those days where everything had gone wrong and I was questioning if it was worth it…Ironic, thinking about it now I should’ve saw what happened as a sign. A drunk driver –some gobby rich kid that stole his parents’ car and took it for a joyride- lost control and decided that I made a perfect airbag…” Robert pulled what looked like pictures and passed them over to Aaron without looking up or even looking at them.

Aaron felt trepidation overcome him because he could guess what those pictures were of and a part of him didn’t want to see them but he knew he needed to know, turning the first one over he saw what was left of what was once a pretty nice car with a huge gap in the center as if it wrapped around a tree or something else. The next picture was of a closer view of the hood which was covered in a scary amount of blood making Aaron think that it was not wrapped around a tree but something worse and a strong sense of foreshadowing came over him.

“The kid ran off not wanting to get caught since he was underage leaving me stuck between the car and the wall for close to an hour but it felt like much longer. It was a good thing that someone was walking their dog and managed to come across me and it was even luckier that somehow I was still breathing. But then again you said it, I don’t know when to quit…” The joke fell flat as Aaron looked up his blue eyes widen at the horrific image of Robert all alone, in pain and thinking he was dying. “…The bones in my legs and my thighs were shattered while the muscles and nerve were shot to hell; my organs were also badly damaged. Basically anything from the waist down was a useless mess…”

Seeing the next image made Aaron gasp it was an image of two badly scar legs covered in metal braces that seemed to be needled into the skin they looked painful, the rest of the leg was covered in stitches. The next image was an x-ray of what looked like a shattered pelvis and broken legs. “…The doctors were unsure I would survive let alone walk again but I was _lucky_ …” the word was spat out like a curse “…The rich kids parents appeared just as I woke up offering me money so I wouldn’t place charges, as much as I wanted the brat to pay I knew that I wouldn’t win, they had money on their side and I still needed surgeries and physical therapy so I took the money negotiating more than they offered of course. With five surgeries and months of physical therapy later I was able to walk again but an injury like that was bound to leave its mark. One being the damage to my reproductive organs making me sterile, the other one was that the nerves and muscles in my legs never fully healed –or ever will- and therefore don’t work to the capacity a normal person’s would; they also had to use some metal plates to put my legs back together which sometimes agitates my nerves.”

Robert passed him papers that Aaron realized were hospital charts “Every once in a while the nerves in my legs flare up and remind me what I am now. On good days it feels like really bad leg cramps that with a massage or hot shower gets better, on bad days like now my legs are completely useless and I have to use that…” he pointed to the bag which Aaron opened to see a syringe with a small bottle of medicine “…on my worst days everything below the waist is completely useless which fortunately are rare, it’s been known to happen when I drink too much.” Robert finished explaining feeling drained and exhausted while Aaron was so overwhelmed with emotion that tears ran down his face like a waterfall “I know I’m useless but I promise that you won’t ever have to deal with it; this was a one off, after this we will go back to before and I will deal with it.” Robert timidly spoke almost pleading to his husband so that he would not leave him.

“Shut up, you are not useless! And I want to deal with this together because you are my husband and I love you. You are right about one thing this does change things between us…it makes us stronger than ever.”

“I don’t want you to pity me.”

“Hey! I could never pity you…you’re too much of a prat.”

This made Robert smile easing some of the tension that had overcome him since Aaron found him on the ground of their driveway; it was kind of refreshing to tell someone what happened. Aaron pulled Robert’s legs on his lap and began massaging them softly “you don’t have to do that, I can’t really feel anything.” Robert explained bitterly but Aaron only smiled and continued his massage promising himself to do some research and talk to the doctors to know more about his husband’s condition, if he pitched his husband’s legs real hard once to check…well that was only for him know. “Since when do I need a reason to touch my husband?” The two sat together with Aaron massaging Robert’s legs while the blond just laid there completely emotionally and physically exhausted.

* * *

For the next few minutes Robert and Aaron got lost in their own bubble, safe from the world and away from the possible chaos outside. It was almost like a weight was lifted from them, as if Robert’s secret was keeping him from being completely invested in the relationship. Now there were truly no secrets between them and it felt amazing, Aaron had never felt closer to Robert. A part of him always felt like he was the weak link in their relationship because he was the one with the problems and trauma but now it was almost as if they were even and Aaron hated himself for thinking that way because he wasn’t happy for Robert’s accident or condition, he was just happy that he also got a chance to support Robert the way the man supported him ‘I can be the strong one for once.’

Aaron saw Robert’s toes wiggle slightly and he became so happy that he massaged his husband’s legs with more excitement although Robert told him that his massage had nothing to do with the movements, Aaron still wanted to believe that it did, just to feel helpful. “Does it happen often?” Aaron asked shyly worried that he might scare his husband into putting up his walls again after all Robert shared a lot more than he would on his best days let alone his worst. “It didn’t but recently it started to happen more often each time lasting longer and getting worst…” Aaron looked up alarmed at the news “what!? Then we have to go to the hospital. I’m calling…” Aaron picked up his phone in a panic but Robert sat up holding his hand to stop him from making a mess of things

“Aaron stop, I already have an appointment to see my doctor.”

Aaron looked skeptical because he knew his husband; manipulation and lying came as natural as breathing to him especially when backed into a corner so he wouldn’t put it pass him to try and lie to him in order to calm Aaron down “honest, I wish I was lying but I was a little worry after the last few episodes and their frequency, so I called him and he made an appointment for me as soon as possible, you can imagine my case is very…delicate so any change is warrant for…” Robert was cut off by someone banging loudly on their door ‘great, so much for peace and quiet; like I didn’t have enough problems.’ Robert threw his head back in exasperation while Aaron glared at the door, not happy that someone ruined the moment they were having. He just hoped that Robert didn’t closed back up ‘if he does whoever is behind the door and me are going to have problems.’

“Robert! Open this door! You cannot escape your responsibilities.”

They heard Victoria yelled ‘of course it’s her’ Aaron and Robert rolled their eyes not really surprised, in background they could hear Adam trying to calm her down but his words fell to deaf ears “I don’t recognize you anymore. How could you do that to your own child? Mum and dad would be ashamed!” Victoria screamed but Aaron and Robert heard Adam try to talk to her again just as the woman got tired of waiting and walked into the unlock door ‘Robert is right we need to start locking that door.’ Victoria marched in with a self-righteous fury while Adam trailed behind more subdue.

“Babe did you not hear what he said, it’s can’t be his kid.”

Robert was surprised at seeing the honesty in Adam’s eyes as he defended him; Aaron couldn’t help but smile proudly at the fact that his best friend was on their side or at least trusted Aaron’s judgement “of course _you_ would believe his lie.” Victoria rolled her eyes ignorant to the way Adam’s shoulders sagged at the harsh words; it pissed Aaron off to see the sadness and guilt in his best friend’s eyes while Robert knew that Victoria will regret her words. It also hurt Robert to hear his own sister doubt his word and believe some woman she met a few months ago over her own and only brother ‘she didn’t even know everything I’ve done yet she treats me with the same distrust that everyone else does. I wonder if I just have that face.’

“It’s not personal; you know she’s just emotional about babies. She hasn’t been able to have a baby so she doesn’t understand how this could not be a blessing for everyone, I’m sure a part of her is jealous.” Aaron whispered to Robert while Victoria was distracted by Adam who tried to pull the woman towards the door and whispered harshly.

“Yea, somehow that doesn’t ease the feeling of having _my sister_ completely abandon me over a woman she barely knows.”

“I know, you can always tell her…”

“No!”

“Hear me out you don’t have to tell her everything maybe just enough to have her back off…”

“No! You only know because you caught me at my lowest.”

“oh that’s nice…So you’re just going to let that family take advantage of your sister just because she has too big a heart and not a big enough brain.”

“Hey watch it that’s my sister you’re talking about.”

“Doesn’t mean it’s not true…”

“Robert!” And Victoria was back with an apologetic Adam who looked at Aaron as if saying ‘sorry I tried.’

Aaron got up, gently placing Robert’s leg on cushions and putting away all the documents and pictures fortunately Victoria was distracted glaring at Robert “Where are you going?” Robert held him back “I’m just putting this away.” The fear in his husband’s eyes ignited a fierce fire in Aaron that demanded he protect the man from anything and anyone that may wish to hurt him in this case that person was the man’s little sister. His husband had gone through something horrible on his own and suddenly Aaron understood the smug _every man for himself_ attitude that the man always seemed to have.

Seeing it now Aaron realized that Robert was stronger than they both thought but at the same time not as invincible as they both liked to believe. He leaned down and kissed his husband falling a little deeper in love with him. Robert kissed back like always getting lost in those lips, the scent, the feel and the taste of the man he loves both ignoring the two other people in the room. After pacifying his husband Aaron took the trunk to their room placing it on the bed and rushing back down just to hear Victoria go off again.

“How could you make up such a horrible lie just to get out of being an actual father to your son…oh by the way you’re having a son which you would have know if you acted like a responsible adult.”

“Why are you so sure it’s a lie? Why would I not tell the truth?”

“Because I know you don’t want to lose Aaron but this is not about you two anymore there is an innocent life involve.”

“You know that you can adopt?”

“It’s selfish…what?”

“If you are so desperate to be a mother that you would not realize how hard it was for your brother to confess what he did in front of everyone all because you want to protect some random baby then you should just adopt or see a counselor about your baby obsession.” Aaron exclaimed furious by the woman’s lack of consideration for anyone’s feelings but her own. He stepped forward defending his husband who was still stuck on the sofa something which Adam had notice while Victoria was too busy yelling to notice, Aaron’s words went in through one ear and out the other.

“Don’t tell me you fell for that lie.”

“Babe you are going down a point of no return. Is a baby that’s not yours or even related to you really worth losing the only brother you have left?”

“I don’t need to fall for anything because I trust _my husband_ over the word of a woman I barely know who is clearly obsessed with him, I know him better than anyone…”

“…”

“…I also saw the medical records not that I needed them to believe him.”

Aaron smirked as suddenly the wind left Victoria and for the first time she realized that her brother had not left his seat on the coach or that he wouldn’t meet their eyes, there was an air of humiliation coming off him. “Robert…?” her big brother turned to her but his legs never moved not even a twitch and that was what drew her attention. “Vic right now is not a good time, can we please do this later.” The word ‘please’ was what really worried Victoria, Robert wasn’t one to beg. He knew that wouldn’t work, Victoria had the Sugden stubbornness when they got their teeth into something it was nearly impossible to deviate their attention.

“What’s going on? Robert talk to me…”

Robert looked up at Aaron who made the gesture of walking over to Victoria to pull her away and kick her out. Robert realized that Aaron was right if he didn’t tell his sister something she would just keep pestering or digging in deeper until she found something and it might not be something he wanted her to find. “When I was away I was in a car accident that left me with some…permanent damages…” It was obvious that just saying the words was difficult for the man that often seemed fearless and unbreakable.

“And you’re…because of it?”

Robert just nodded happy that she didn’t repeat the words since he was tired of hearing them, he felt his little sister’s arms wrap around him pulling him into her warm embrace making it much harder to hold back the tears. Adam looked at Aaron and gestured to the door as if to give the siblings some privacy but Aaron shook his head, he refused to leave his husband alone so instead he called him over to the kitchen. “We should give them some…” Adam started but a look from Aaron shut him up “I’m not leaving him.” He busied himself making tea for everyone while Victoria and Robert talked with some resemblance of privacy; the truth was he didn’t trust Victoria with his husband alone especially in his state.

“Did you know about the…”

“He told me today but he didn’t need to tell me for me to believe him about not being the father.”

* * *

It had been two days since Rebecca’s return and Robert’s reveal, Victoria had been back to being a supportive little sister even apologizing to Robert and Adam for what she said and how she acted. He has hid away at the Mill the whole time spending his time doing some paperwork for Home James. The rest of his time was spend with Aaron or keeping Victoria from opening her big mouth. It was the day of the appointment and Aaron headed out with Robert something he insisted on doing not because he didn’t believe him but because he wanted to.

_“I’m not leaving you, I’m here no matter what and you are no longer alone.”_

There was no arguing with the man after that, especially when he snogged the blond man and left him breathless. The two headed out after having to convince Victoria that she did not need to go as well _“Vic it’s just a routine visit, nothing serious.”_ Robert lied to his worry sister who did not know the extent of his injuries, for once Aaron did not call him out on his lie since he could see that Robert was scare about what the doctor’s visit could mean and having a fretting Vic there would do more harm than good.

The accident and later his recovery all happened in London but when he moved back to Emmerdale with the Whites his doctor in London referred him to the nearest specialist who happened to be in Leeds. Robert liked the older man much better than his doctor in London, he was much more blunt and to the point than the sweet and kind Dr. Ahuja in London. In the years that he has lived in Emmerdale they had developed a relationship and understanding, the man’s dry humor also reminded him of Aaron which was always a sure fire way to get on Robert’s good graces.

“Robert welcome back, it’s been a while.”

“Sorry, I kind of wanted to try and live a normal life.”

Aaron hit his husband trying to get him to behave which just got him the smug smirk that the man was known for. The doctor seemed use to Robert’s snide attitude, it looked like the older man knew his husband already “who is this we have here?” The doctor asked a kind smile on his face yet there was a glint in his eyes that reminded Aaron so much of his husband. He reminded Aaron of those wholesome kindly grandfathers that he often saw on the telly but with a dark twist that would make him fit perfectly with their family. “This is my husband Aaron” The doctor did not even flitch at the declaration, he didn’t even looked surprised instead he got to work going from kind Grandfather to wise doctor.

“In that case I will assume Robert here has finally told you everything…” The older man looked at his husband with pride making Robert smile and suddenly he was in Aaron’s good books “yeah, I think I know everything.” Aaron looked at Robert for confirmation and got a nod from his husband. “…Well knowing Robert I’ll assume that you don’t know the worst of it so I will try to explain things as I go and of course you are both free to ask me questions.” The doctor waited until they both nodded before continuing.

“Since it has been a while since your last visit I want to start with some questions and then we’ll move to some basic test, I spoke to Dr. Dunbar in preparation…” Aaron looked confuse at the name of another doctor he didn’t know “that’s my primary care physician” Robert explained getting a nod from his husband “…Imagine my surprise when she told me you were in a car accident not too long ago and we both realized you didn’t follow her request to come and see me to make sure there were no lasting damages.” Robert looked like a little boy being scolded by his father as both the doctor and Aaron glared at him in disappointment.

“I felt fine and I was checked over and given a clean bill of health there was no reason to make the trip over.”

Then suddenly Aaron remembered what his mother told him about how Robert had been worried sick and refused to leave his side. “Robert you know that is not how your condition works, you should’ve come as soon as possible because not every doctor will know what to look for, that’s why specialist exists.” Aaron felt guilty because he realized that Robert didn’t get checked over to stay by his side, Robert grabbed his hand pulling him away from the dark turn his thoughts took; the doctor seemed to read something in their interaction because he decided to let the topic go for the time being “I hope I don’t have to remind you that it’s very important for you to be honest in this.” Both Aaron and the doctor looked at the blond accusingly both knowing how he was which made him roll his eyes “with my personal lie detector here and you on my case I don’t have a choice.” He pointed to Aaron who doctor smile at.

It was a long process and Aaron could see the energy slowly drain from Robert the more they got into it, by the end his husband was snarky and an all-around prat to the staff; they all seemed used to and even understand the man’s behavior but Aaron realized why Robert tried to avoid the doctor. The test and questions were uncomfortable and invasive which went against everything that Robert was. It was exhausting to watch, he couldn’t imagine actually going through it; Aaron was sure that to Robert it was all a painful reminder of that night, that’s why Aaron held his hand whenever he could in silent support.

They return to the village in a sober mood while they didn’t receive bad news being back in the hospital and having test after test done always put Robert in a dark mood because it brought back memories of those dark days after the accident when he was alone and in pain. While for Aaron the visit made everything his husband told him real, it gave him a deeper look into Robert’s condition. He had to take various deep breaths when the doctor explained certain things the biggest thing was watching the scars on Robert’s legs which made him realize that the man rarely took his pants off and when he did the man was good at distracting Aaron.

He asked the doctor all the questions he had in mind and got answers to all of them but he wasn’t sure knowledge was such a good thing because it was heartbreaking. It made him feel like a scum for not noticing that his husband had been going through all that and he was always too stuck in his own issues to help. Unfortunately a storm was waiting for them when they arrived; on their driveway stood a frantic Diane and an apologetic Victoria which explained what happened

“Pet, why didn’t you call us? Your father would have left everything to come and…”

Robert was not in a good mood to keep this conversation going and when Robert wasn’t in a good mood he snapped at anyone in his line of sight “sorry Diane, being in a coma and later months of physical therapy made it hard to contact anyone but I’ll keep it in mind for the next time.” Robert limped away hating the fact his emotions continued to affect his legs functions.

“How did it go?”

Victoria asked Aaron grabbing his arm before he could follow Robert inside, both women looked at him with concern in their eyes. He was not getting away from this “the doctor did some test which we have to wait a few days for the results; he said Robert should cut back on the stress since it can affect his condition.” He didn’t tell them the apart about the doctor recommending they get him a service animal or pet or even taking a trip away from it all. ‘Robert liked that idea, getting away from the craziness. I like the idea of having a dog might have to work on convincing him.’ He held back a smile at the disapproving glare Robert send him when the doctor mention a dog as if warning him not to even think about it.

Aaron doubted the two women would want to let Robert out of their sight right now which he could understand “I can’t believe that lying cow would make something like this up and even after being confronted with the truth…” Aaron suddenly felt a chill run down his spine, Vic could not have done what he thinks she’s done. “What do you mean confronted?” he was hoping that he was wrong and that for once in her life Victoria kept her mouth shut. “Well I wasn’t going to let her continue to slander my brother’s name so when she came in the pub pretending to be the victim I told her and everyone the truth.” Shit, he was right and Robert was going to have a fit.

“What truth?”

“About the accident and how it made him sterile.”

“What! Vic, did you lose your mind?!”

“What? You wanted me to let everyone think the worse of Robert?”

“They already do and it was not your secret to tell! Do you think maybe you should have let Robert decide how he wanted to deal with this and who he wanted to share the news with? He’s been hiding this for years, he finally tells me and I convinced him to tell you and you do this!”

Aaron walked away realizing that Robert was right in not telling Vic everything because otherwise everyone in the village would have known. His husband was not going to be happy when he found out. Aaron ignored the two women closing the door and making sure to lock it, focusing on his husband who laid on the sofa with his eyes close he seemed almost peaceful were it not for the frown on his face.

“Pet, he’s right you know how private your brother is; he is not going to be happy.”

“At least it got rid of the crazy cow obsess with him.”

* * *

Rebecca could not believe what Victoria had told her, it had to be a lie after all her only card in winning Robert back was that she could give him something that Aaron couldn’t. It had to work; it was too late for her to get rid of the kid like she had done with the first one when her plan didn’t work back then. She began pacing, trying to think about what she would do if it were true ‘but it couldn’t be, Robert has to be the father of this child no matter what, it’s the only way we’ll be together.’ Rebecca was becoming agitated; she had been so close even had Victoria and everyone in the village on her side believing that she was the sweet victim manipulated by the despicable Robert Sugden.

“So who’s the actual father?”

The words snapped her out her thoughts, Chrissie was giving her a glare with a hint of smug satisfaction “I told you it’s Robert” Chrissie rolled her eyes at her sister’s delusion “No it’s not you heard Victoria…” Now it was Rebecca’s turn to glare at the older woman, she had to nip this believe in the bud “and you believe her? She was lying for her brother we both know how they are.” Rebecca exclaimed desperately trying to gain back control of the situation “Robert defiantly but not Victoria she’s a horrible liar” Chrissie also remembered the scars and how Robert had told her _“I was a very mischievous child”_ which she didn’t really believe at the time. It all made sense especially the fact that they had been careless a couple of times yet she never got pregnant.

“Besides we both know from personal experience that it’s not a lie, we have both seen the scars or at least…I have.”

At this Rebecca remembered the scars that she saw when Robert and she were together but most of all she remembered that night vividly, Robert had been so drunk that she had to help him get on the bed and take off his clothes, his legs were like dead weight. _“Not again…I can’t move them.”_ Rebecca had though it was the alcohol but now it made sense, she always thought that Robert couldn’t get it up because of the Alcohol but maybe it was more than that. But that didn’t matter because Robert didn’t remember and he would have to believe what she told him happened. He had to be with hers, they belonged together from the very beginning fate had been bringing them together over and over again. It was meant to be and neither Chrissie, Aaron nor Robert himself could stop it from happening.

* * *

The next month was horrible– and in a way also great- for Robert everyone was looking at him with pity like he was suddenly made out of glass as oppose to the glares and looks of disgust he had grown used too. Thanks to Vic’s big mouth everyone knew about his accident and tried to pester him about it or would come up to him and apologize as if suddenly all he’s bad deeds were erased. Chas returned a few days after Rebecca and was immediately informed of all the new gossip and to his surprise she took his side, banning Rebecca from the pub and running interference between him and Victoria who he was still not happy with.

The woman had become the person who best understood him, she gave him space when he needed but was there when he didn’t want to be alone. ‘I guess this is what it feels like to have a mother.’ In fact the whole Dingle clan had been insufferable with their support and help even worse after learning the full truth of his condition.

It had been a normal day and they had decided to enjoy the fact that Robert hadn’t gotten an episode since his doctor visit earlier that month, when it happened ‘I should’ve known not to jinx myself.’ Suddenly Robert felt the familiar pricking of needles in his legs, he hoped it was one of his good days and it turned out to be just a cramp but then he didn’t feel his toes. “Fuck!” Aaron was in the bathroom but fortunately it was early in the day so the pub was relatively empty. By the time Aaron came back Robert’s legs were dead weight “Rob..?” Aaron asked worried as he came back to Robert frustratingly hitting his legs.

“It happened again…”

He was scared Robert would start using the knives and forks on the table soon “how bad?” He wondered if he would be able to get Robert up and out without drawing suspicion. “I can’t…” Robert’s voice cut off filled with so much hurt and humiliation that it broke Aaron’s heart. With Charity’s help they got the man into the back without anyone noticing and the feeling came back to Robert’s legs an hour later without the need for medication. Of course Charity pestered them about it and they had to tell her which she in turned told the family luckily she kept her mouth shut after that.

Aaron refused to let him out of his sight for more than a few hours, his husband accompanied him to all his therapies always supportive and loving. Other than the over protectiveness ‘like mother like son’ their relationship was stronger and better than ever. It almost felt like they could withstand anything and they wouldn’t break. Everything was out in the open, they’ve seen each other at their worst and most vulnerable but most of all they both have admitted that they needed to see a counselor both separately and also together, it had work wonders for their peace and mental health. Now if only Robert could find a way to lower or better yet fix Aaron’s –and the Dingles as well as Diane and Vic’s- mother henning then everything would be perfect.

He could also deal without the constant stalking and harassment from Rebecca who seemed to be everywhere he went, trying to convince him to leave Aaron and take her just because she could get pregnant and Aaron couldn’t. The woman believed that she could ‘fix’ his condition and actually be able to give him a child, never mind that it was medically impossible the power of her love –obsession- would make it happen like some twisted miracle.

He had a feeling that was one of the reasons his guard dogs refused to leave him alone. The therapies have been helping him manage and once the test came back it turned out that he didn’t come out completely unscathed from the accident that Aaron and he went through a few months ago.

The accident irritated his nerves making them hypersensitive, that plus the stress from everything going on was a horrible combination. Both his doctors had a field day telling him _“I told you so…”_ and his decision making card on his health was temporarily revoke until he could prove that he could make _“smart and logical”_ decision when it came to his well-being. Aaron had supported the doctors’ decision which made him pout, it was even worse when he couldn’t find anyone that would take his side not even Chas.

* * *

Slowly but surely he was getting back on track as things began getting back to normal, he even took his counselor’s advice and set up a trip for him and Aaron in a few days to Barcelona after Liv came back. Although his husband was trying to convince him to also get a flea bag _“it could be a service animal”_ but he wasn’t falling for it…yet he wasn’t so confident in his ability to say ‘no’ once Liv and Aaron gang up on him.

The return of Liv was not as good for Robert as he though since unfortunately after being informed Liv joined the rest of his family in mother henning him although the teen was much more subtle about it ‘thank god for small miracles’ and she seemed to understand more than anyone how the constant attention was making him feel. “I know it might feel like they think you’re useless but it’s not that…” She told him one day after he snapped at Aaron for trying to walk him home when Robert said he wanted to go back and grab a jacket.

“Oh yea, I say I have a condition and suddenly I can’t walk home alone.” Robert exclaimed frustrated by the overwhelming pressure he felt from everyone.

“…I know what it looks like but they love you, we all love you and we want to keep you –god knows why- with us. I learned thanks to you and Aaron that it’s what family does when they love you. Their also a little scare because to them this just happened, give them some time to settle in we’ll all find a new normal…” Robert was silenced by the teenager’s wise words while Liv stood up “…you should take this for what it is, proof that you are no longer alone and that there a lot of people that love you.”

After those words Robert tried to see all the attention in a positive light like laughing when Cain glared at some nosey villagers who ran away in terror, or seeing Chas go toe to toe with Rebecca and tear her a new one as she once again tried to get his attention; having Vic cook him all his favorite meals or having Diane give him the motherly affection he had always seen her give Andy but even better was having his husband touch him, hug him and kiss him whenever and where ever.

The PDA was amazing but even more so was the sex, Aaron had sex as if he was scare they wouldn’t be able to do it the next day, it was mind blowing and exhausting in the best kind of way. So thanks to Liv Robert learned to live with the mother henning…to a certain extent of course he was Robert Sugden after all.

He had never come to terms with what had happened to him and he thought he never would but with his family around him he was finding his new normal. And yes he might never be ‘heal’ and the nightmares will always be there but now he had arms that wrapped around him and blew them away with a soft kiss and gentle words. He had people that made him laugh when he had one of his episodes making him forget his disability for a brief moment, over all he had Aaron and that will always be enough to keep the darkness away.

Aaron was proud of his husband, he fell in love with him more and more each day even when he finally witness Robert on his worst days he still loved him. He was also proud of his family for not disappointing him and accepting Robert’s condition like it was nothing new. He smiled looking down at the romantic dinner he made –with some help from Vic- and straighten the jacket of his suit not because he was nervous but because he was anxious to start a greater chapter of their lives together. “I can’t wait to make it all official. How should I ask it…” He wondered out loud not hearing the door open or his husband come in, his husband was so good with words ‘almost too good’ and he wanted everything to be perfect.

“Rob…No…Robert will you…”

“Yes, always.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Updated August 2020: If you have read the story before this let me know what you think about the additions and updates. To the people reading for the first time I hope you enjoy this new view of a Robron classic. 
> 
> Old Note: I have some more Robron that I started writing when things were still good, let me know if you would like to read more.


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